Whether I’m having a bad day or feeling sick, you can turn my day around and make me smile and make me laugh. You’re not like a lot of the other guys I’ve met and I’m glad I was able to snatch you up before anyone else did. I know that we have our bad days too. We’ve definitely had out fair share of fights, both little ones and big ones, but no matter what, we were always able to get through it, because we both know that our relationship is a lot more important than our pride. We’re most certainly not perfect people, but together, I think we fit quite perfectly.
I’m mad at us. Both, you and myself. You for not staying around a bit longer and fighting for us. You for not loving me enough to want to stay around throughout everything that we were going through. You for wanting to move on. You for giving up on four months of us, you for giving up on our future. I know it sounds so crazy, but we had plans. We’re both young, I know but we had fucking plans.
We were gonna get our shit together, then move in together. We were gonna travel, together. We were gonna take road trips, together. We were gonna make it through, together. But you gave up on us, alone. I know I wasn’t always the easiest to love, but I wished you tried a little harder.
But I think at the end of the night, I’m just really pissed at myself. Because I was the one that did the crazy shit to drive you away. Because I was the one that made things hard on us. Because I was the one that didn’t have enough trust in you when you were the one keeping us together.
I’ll do anything to have you back, I miss you. I miss us.
I’ll hate you for making this so painful for me. I’ll hate you for giving up so easily when I put everything that I could possibly put into our relationship. I’ll hate you for saying all this shit to me. I’ll hate you for not giving a fuck about me and what I felt. I’ll hate you for leaving me when I needed you the most. I’ll hate you for the fact that I won’t be able to go anywhere without being reminded of you.
I’ll hate you so much for breaking my heart. But I just can’t and I wish I could. So fucking badly.
We don’t have to make out everywhere we go just so that we could make everyone in our atmosphere crave it so much that they start to lick their lips. Or hold hands just so all the single people can walk by and call us cute. We don’t need matching outfits so we could camera whore and get all these comments on Facebook. As cute as that may sound, we don’t have to do any of that. There is nothing we need to prove to anyone because I’m yours and you’re mine. Fuck all the standards of being a couple, let’s just be together. That’s all that really mattered anyway.
When I say that I want to show you off to the world, its not my intention to make everyone jealous. Its to make them believe that it is possible to find something special when you least expect it. A trust so strong that you don’t need pinky promises to define it since they just know not to tell your secrets. A connection so rare that they become your part time lover and full time friend. A relationship so special that they bring out the best in you. Let’s just be together and leave it at that.
It’s the fact that why I love being with you. It’s the feelings I get when I feel your presence around mine. It puts the biggest smile on my face when I see you happy. When you smile it seems as if the world has come at ease. I love it whenever I start tickling you and then wrestle you in the bed because I know we can just be like little kids around each other. We can be ourselves, we can be free with each other, so that the both of us can just be us, be ourselves.
You’re the only one who I wouldn’t mind losing sleep for, the only one who I can never get tired of talking to, and the only one who crosses my mind constantly throughout the day. You’re the only one who can make me smile without trying, bring down my mood without the intention to and affect my emotions with every action of yours. You’re the one I’m afraid of losing and the one I want to keep in my life.
I’d be lying if I told you that it didn’t put the biggest smile on my face. Some would say it’s stupid and that it’s probably just a line, but there’s so much to our relationship, a lot more than you know. It puts the biggest smile on my face when he says things regarding our future. I don’t know where our lives will take us, but I do hope it’s together. Whether that’s where we end up or not, I just know that he makes me the happiest person in the world by the simplest gestures and by the kindest words and the sweetest efforts that make me realize that he’s in it for the long-run. 🙂